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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?